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Joke of the Day
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"I quit my job and handed in my badge and gun to my boss, he said, why do you have a gun? You work at McDonald's."
"riding that line between i wish i didn't have to eat to live and food is the only thing that comforts me"
"What is the cheapest type of meat? Deer balls. They're under a buck."
"Did you hear the one about the perverted statistician? He couldn't get off on the standard deviation"
"Got kicked out of the casino again. Apparently, gold chocolate coins mess up their slot machines or something."
"A man in Tennessee was arrested for attempting to have sex with an ATM. Even worse, he received a penalty for early withdrawal."
"Yes, Banner Ads, we want to check our Credit Scores. Almost as much as we want to pick people up at the airport and see our parents fucking."
"Jeb says hes good at fixing things and I don't doubt him... People who voted in Florida during the 2000 presidential election know what I'm *talkin* about."
"What do you call a West African cricketer? Ebola"