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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the one about the perverted statistician? He couldn't get off on the standard deviation"

"What did the businessman say to the other businessman? We're both businessmen."

"His homebuilt e-cigarette vapor mod with banana custard glycerine is so sexy... Said no girl ever"

"I want a textbook wedding. One that costs way too much and is of no use to me later in life."

"How do we know God isn't black? Because then he would've said ""I is who I is"""

"My friend Dave told me this joke about Hillary Clinton yesterday... I was just wondering if anyone here has heard from him?"

"LPT: Take your garbage can to the supermarket with you so you can see which items you've recently ran out of."

"What do you call a shitty city? Turd Furgeson"

"How does a door chime answer the phone? Bella?"

"Lawyer: ""Now that you have been acquitted will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?"" Client: ""After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning I'm beginning to think I didn't."""