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Joke of the Day
"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? The 'p' is silent"
Next Joke
"How did alien defeat predator? ""Hi, why don't you have a seat right over there please.."""
"Dr: you have pneumonia Hillary: what's pneumonia Me: *fighting off secret service* not much monia what's pneu with you"
"How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures? They never cry over spilt milk !"
"What's brown and sticky? A stick. My combo joke: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick."
"Snail 1: Are you male or female? Snail 2: Yes Snail 1: Me too! [they kiss passionately]"
"If I got a dollar, for every time I think of you. I might start thinking of you."
"We should've known about the failure of communism In retrospect, there were a lot of red flags..."
"If I got 1 for everytime a girl called me unattractive I'd be attractive"
"1) Jumped out of bed 2) Cooked breakfast 3) Ran 6 miles 4) Worked out 5) Started lying compulsively"