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Joke of the Day

"Dr: you have pneumonia Hillary: what's pneumonia Me: *fighting off secret service* not much monia what's pneu with you"

"The Sorting Hat seems like bad hygienic practice."

"69ER'S GET SACKED Q: Why is 88 better than 69? A: Because you get ate twice."

"Everyone has these expansive bucket lists Mine is a little pail in comparison"

"Only and only when a mosquito lands on your balls do you realize there are some problems that can be solved without violence :)"

"What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base? A flat major."

"i'm trying to lose weight so i ordered a salad and i immediately got annoyed thinking about the salad i would have to eat."

"How do you make a cheeseburger sad? Make it with blue cheese!"

"I invented four new karate moves while trying to get an automatic paper towel dispenser to work."

"Naughty Boy Teacher said the students to convert the sentence ""I killed a person"" into future tense. Suddenly one of the boys stands up and said, Sir the future tense is ""u will go to jail""!"