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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why did the girl loaf of stale bread slap the boy loaf of stale bread? A: Because he tried to get fresh."

"I hope this new health care bill also includes every American's right to a lollipop after leaving the doctor."

"Roses are red, my real name is Dave. This poem makes no sense, microwave."

"There was a U2 cover band playing at a bar last night... I hate to say it, but they were even better than the real thing."

"Did you hear about the scarecrow who won a Nobel Prize? He's out standing in his field."

"When writing science fiction, always Google your made-up planet name; 9 times out of 10, it's an existing yeast infection medication."

"So I have these lesbian neighbors... They asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and then got me a watch. I think they misunderstood me."

"Why does Marshawn Lynch sit in the back at the Kid's Choice awards? He's just there so he won't get slimed."

"I called my little sister a blue waffle today... that spoiled cunt."

"What did the rapper say when he couldn't find his pants? ""Where my knickers at?"""