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Joke of the Day

"So I have these lesbian neighbors... They asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and then got me a watch. I think they misunderstood me."

"What do you call a cow that's had an abortion? Decaffeinated."

"How do you fix a broken jack-o-lantern? With a pumpkin patch!"

"for a guy named Health Ledger he was not keeping track of his health very well."

"I regret joining the gym recently.. leaving the EU would've been a more effective way to lose pounds"

"BEN CARSON'S WIFE: Are you coming home for dinner BEN CARSON: Go to ben carson dot com and read my plan to come home for dinner"

"yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 seconds."

"What do you say when you are trying to scare your girlfriend? Boo bae! (Read aloud please)"

"What's black and never works? Decaf coffee."

"First Jon Stewart retires, then Brian Williams gets suspended. What's happening to fake news?"