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Joke of the Day
"The lifeguard yelled at me for peeing in the pool. I was so startled, I almost fell in."
Next Joke
"Stop making fun of fat people with lisps!!! ...they're probably thick and tired of it."
"Gonna start a gym called ""Resolutions"". For the first two weeks of January it's a gym. The rest of the year it becomes a bar."
"No YOU hug her first .... NO YOU hug her first .... F-that ! YOU hug her FIRST ! .... -Lineup congratulating the Next Ebola free nurse"
"One wind turbine says to another ""what music do you like?"" ""well I'm a big metal fan"""
"Knock Knock* Who's there? Me open up."
"I'm the Nokia phone in a room full of iphones"
"What do you call the version of google maps without pac man? Pac Man-free Ver."
"The Mrs recognizes my ""tell"" when I've seen an attractive woman: my eyes pop 4 inches out of their sockets and I make a loud ""A-OOGA"" noise."
"To the people that put their Twitter link in their own Twitter profile: Thank you. I would have never found you otherwise."