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Joke of the Day
"Say what you will about grammar nazis At least they aren't anti-semantic."
Next Joke
"Two Dicks... Two dicks were hanging out at a bar."
"I'm in a Josef Fritzl tribute band... You probably haven't heard of us, we're pretty underground."
"Fishermen are reel men."
"How do you start a joke about Vladimir Putin? By looking over your shoulder."
"This is your captain speaking. Would someone who knows how to be a pilot please come up? I'm literally just pressing buttons."
"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you do criticize them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes."
"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Do you know why I stopped? *silence* *a saxophone wails in the distance*"
"Why do rednecks always smell like pickles, mayonnaise, and ham? Because they're inbred."
"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? It only takes one, but it takes a very long time and the light bulb has to really want to change."