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Joke of the Day

"Say what you will about grammar nazis At least they aren't anti-semantic."

"Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad."

"Man walks into doctors office with a frog on his head... Doctor: can i help you? Frog: yeah, get this thing off my ass!"

"HUMMING BEES Q: Why do bees hum? A: They don't know the words."

"Rick Astley will give you all of his Disney movies. But he is never gonna give you Up"

"Today I sent out a text saying, ""Hey, I lost my phone, will you call it?"" 12 people called me...I need damn smarter friends."

"What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he was invited to a classical musician theme Halloween party? I'll be Bach."

"Welcome to Earth, where we hate each other and put ketchup on everything."

"The 21st century: Deleting history is often more important than making it."

"I'm having a completely dry January... ...no foreplay whatsoever. (Stolen from Gary Delaney's show this evening - great show Gary!)"