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Joke of the Day

"This is your captain speaking. Would someone who knows how to be a pilot please come up? I'm literally just pressing buttons."

"What do fat chicks and mopeds have in common? they're fun to ride until your friends find out."

"Some music just moves you. For example this Taylor Swift song playing on the radio makes me wanna drive off a cliff"

"(punny) Did you hear about the orgy at the campground? It was in tents"

"A couple of cats and dogs were seen wearing crowns. I think they're reigning cats and dogs."

"How did the jury find the hamburger? Grill-ty as charred!"

"Did you know lotr could have come out a lot earlier? Only problem was no one knew what the writer was Tolkien about"

"I tried killing a spider with kindness, but found that a shoe was much more effective"

"I used to be terrible at Valentines' Day too... But then I took an arrow in the knee."

"what's the difference between a cross-eyed hunter and a constipated owl? the hunter shoots but can't hit..."