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Joke of the Day

"Q: What bone will a dog never eat? A: A trombone."

"A man went to see his doctor ""You need to stop masturbating"" said the doctor. ""Why?"" asked the man. The doctor replied ""Because I'm trying to examine you!"""

"Why did the bacteria cross the microscope? To get to the other slide"

"Hey baby, lemme see what's under that shell. Ugh, as if. *Lady turtle starts walking away.* [3 hours later] I still see you there baby."

"If it looks like a duck & swims like a duck & talks like an angry duck policeman, then you about to fail a sobriety test son"

"My wife said I'm just like Pluto I have a very cold heart"

"What kind of nuts go on your feet? *Sigh*... Cashews."

"How much do pirates pay for earrings? Somewhere around a buck an ear."

"When I awoke from the car accident in a full bodycast, my wife was right at my bedside to let me know that childbirth is still more painful."

"How did the bucket's mom know he was sick? He was a little pail."