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Joke of the Day
"Why cant the Rolling stones ever be pastors? We all know they dont gather mass."
Next Joke
"The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her, ""Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"""
"How do you hire a horse? Put a brick under each hoof!"
"What do you call it when you think you've lost your Italian cured meat, but then you find it again? A falsalami"
"I cant stop eating ice cream... It's a rocky road to addiction."
"""Now is a good time to think about every mistake you've ever made."" - 3 am"
"I've learned a lot about kids while working at Menard's. Namely don't bring you fucking kid to Menard's."
"""Son, I found a condom in your room"" ""Gee, thanks, Grandpa!"" ""Why are you calling me Grandpa?"" ""Because I couldn't find it yesterday."""
"You know the jack in a box that scared the life out of you when you were a child? That's me as an adult cooking with my smoke detector"
"Where does the vampire deposit his savings? In the blood bank. And why did he like to deposit his savings there? Because everyone there helped increase his savings."