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Joke of the Day

"*stuck in elevator with beautiful woman* I know it's only been 10 minutes but I'm gonna take a poop ok?"

"My boss said to me, ""you're the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?"" I said, ""I'm not sure; it's hard to keep track."""

"What is Bruce Lee's favorite drink? WATAHH!"

"What Has 75 Balls and Screws Old Ladies? Bingo."

"I'll bet Johnny Depp is somewhere supercool right now, wearing 7 scarves."

"I am in NO condition to drive. (I'm a woman.)"

"What does a dyslexic programmer say after a magic trick? Da-Ta!!"

"Why are the cops shooting so many black men? There's plenty of Mexicans to shoot too. Yeah I'm going to hell for that one."

"Everyone's always talking about our forefathers... I'm pretty sure there were more than that."

"A poltergeist was moving furniture around the house, and I really love what he's done with the place."