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Joke of the Day
"I'm going to skip home tonight because sometimes life is seriously brilliant. *throws confetti*"
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a fish and a mountain goat? Fish muck about in fountains..."
"What did Barack say to Michelle when he proposed? I don't want to be Obama self."
"What kind of tree smells like bacon? (Original?) A Porcupine!"
"What do you call someone who gets stoned and baked? A witch."
"What music do dyslexic programmers listen to? Run/CMD"
"(Job Interview) Interviewer: So, tell me about yourself. Me: I'm unemployed. I: How about something personal? Me: Personally I need a job."
"I like Jews how I like my cookies. Cooked in an oven"
"Today my girlfriend yelled today saying: ""You weren't even listening just now, were you?"" What a weird way to start a conversation."
"What's the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother? An Italian mother says ""If you don't eat it I'll kill you."" A Jewish mother says ""If you don't eat it I'll kill myself."""