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Joke of the Day
"Why don't chickens wear underwear? Their peckers are on their face!"
Next Joke
"When someone's all, ""Words cannot begin to describe ..."" I'm all YES THEY CAN YOU HAVE A LIMITED VOCABULARY."
"""Trent! Your only job was to prep the classroom for Diversity Day!"" ME: *in full scuba gear* look, I think ""diver city day"" could be fun too"
"Everyone on the planet is such a hypocrite and so self-centered Oh, except for me of course"
"Tomorrow...trade cell phones with your significant other for the day...see how many of you are single by the end of the day..."
"Getting to bed early so I can be well rested and fully alert for my morning anxiety."
"him: what do u wanna be? me: I wanna be a cat that transforms into a misty fog when people try to pet me him: wtf, I meant for Halloween?"
"There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data"
"What did the x-axis say to the y-axis? This is my domain"
"I love people who don't take their sweet time pooping in a public bathroom. They take their shit seriously"