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Joke of the Day

"you're mama so fat... she broke her leg and gravy poured out."

"What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Christopher Walken. Edited for spelling, even though the guy was a stuffy old turd about it. :D HEYOOO"

"Have you heard that China's panda project is disastrously failing? All of the pandas are dying of pneumonia. It's causing pandaneumonium."

"Why was Pinocchio acting drunk? He couldn't handle his lacquer"

"Sometimes when I'm sitting in a swivel chair, I'll turn around quickly and smile and pretend I'm in the opening credits of a sitcom"

"If Clinton wins presidency, who will be First Lady? Monica Lewinsky"

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? R! Aaaarrrgghhhh! You'd think it'd be R but it's the C, matey!"

"Why did the H kill himself? Because the G had."

"Named my band Scheduled for Demolition so whenever it appears on a marquee, confused people write angry letters to the city council."

"Why are horses never overweight? They're on a stable diet."