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Joke of the Day

"If you want to hide a gift for your husband, just put it in the pantry with one thing in front of it."

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"He always finds himself lost in thought; it's unfamiliar territory."
"Explain joke What is a bee's favorite game? Hive and seek"
"Heroin is like a baby.. ..it feels so amazing to have in your arms."
"Why do ghosts carry tissues? Because they have BOOOOgers."
"Once I meet a hot chick I automatically give her money. So if she says I'm stalking her I can tell the cops she's a hooker."
"So, Burt and Ernie are just sitting at home, when Burt looks over at Ernie and asks, ""Hey Ernie, do you want to get some ice cream?"" Then Ernie said, ""Sure Burt."""
"Essex Girl after sex! What does an Essex girl say after having sex? What team do you guys play for?"
"(Politics) If trump becomes president... And he identified as a female or got a sex change, would he then be the first woman president?"
"(Grabs store intercom) Would whoever dropped the list with ""pizza"" and ""wine"" on it in the cart come to the front? We need to be friends."
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