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Joke of the Day
"How hard is it to find cigarettes? Because my dad has been gone for 13 years looking for them."
Next Joke
"she had the eyes of an angel, the squawk of a bird, the wingspan of an albatross, the beak of an albatross i think this girl is an albatross"
"North Korea has finished nuking the South, and there was one man left alive. He was the Seoul survivor."
"A reboot of Dexter, but this time he stalks and kills people who reply to a text message with a phone call"
"Who has two thumbs and looks an awful lot like Alec Baldwin? Alec Baldwin"
"[love making] Her: [leans in] ""do that thing you know I like."" [i cease to exist] Her: ""yeah baby."""
"What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other is a pause at the end of a clause."
"Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A. A widow."
"*Learns sign language to keep arguing with boyfriend while giving the silent treatment*"
"Why do women close their eyes during sex? Because they can't stand to see a man happy."