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Joke of the Day

"Getting a PhD is like an erection, it's long and hard.... unless you're Chinese."

"What's the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? Phelps can finish a race"

"I got arrested for punching this guy at a new year's Eve party When you hear an Arab count down from 10 your instincts kick in."

"At this point in my life... At this point in my life, i drink so i can smoke and I smoke after the bad decisions i made wile drinking, then I drink to forget that I am dying of lung cancer."

"I was so drunk last night at the bar. When I walked across the dance floor to get another drink I won the dance competition."

"Did you hear about the guy who used the door knocker? He won a no bell prize. I'm sorry if this is a repost. I searched but couldn't find anything close."

"I was playing football with some SJWs. They found my playing strategy highly offensive."

"Cowboy . . . and no vet How did the cowboy know his pony was getting sick? He was a little hoarse."

"What do you call a pink slip served inside a bag of coffee? Grounds for termination."

"What's the difference between a white woman and a tampon? They're both stuck up cunts."