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Joke of the Day

"Cowboy . . . and no vet How did the cowboy know his pony was getting sick? He was a little hoarse."

"I hope my husband never gets Alzheimer's but if he does, I imagine my favorite part will be saying ""I gave you one yesterday."""

"If you see a white guy in earbuds convulsing angrily with T. Rex arms, don't freak out. I'm just jamming out to Eminem."

"What do you get when you breed an elephant with a rhino? elifino"

"[911 call] IM GETTING EATEN- *pause* Ok one sec. *holds phone away from mouth* Are you an alligator or a crocodile? *pause* Cool. ITS A CRO-"

"Did you hear about the awesome new Corey Hart cover of Sunglasses at Night? By Stevie Wonder."

"A man gave me 79 protons Thanks for the gold!"

"Why did the stutterer get shot in the ghetto? He was asking for directions for the ""k-k-k-mart."""

"Who wants to go to Florida with me? I heard the clubs are to die for."

"How do you get a dozen eggs out of a washing machine in less than a minute? i'm serious... help."