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Joke of the Day
"I was bit by a rattlesnake last summer. After three days of excruciating pain the snake died"
Next Joke
"Whoever named it a ""mobile"" phone obviously didn't anticipate me spending the day on the couch covered in crumbs reading Twitter."
"Catch a baby opossum, give it a 12-hr sedative, and hide it in the glove compartment of the car of the person who's dating your ex."
"Me: How old is your daughter? Her: She'll be 4 next week. Me: *audible sigh (Slowly, emphatically): OK. But I asked how old is she... NOW."
"My autobiography would just be a really long Taco Bell receipt."
"How long does it take to reach the ground from 110 stories up? The rest of your life."
"How did a bit travel from the CPU to the HDD? It took the bus."
"Why did Microsoft go from windows 8 to 10 Because 7 8 9"
"I accidentally inhaled some soap when I was washing my face and then I coughed and no bubbles came out. Cartoons are full of shit."
"Ever heard the phrase"" Do you live under a rock?"" Ever wonder why Patrick Star is so dumb? Well its because he literally lives under a rock."