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Joke of the Day

"What did the sign say on the abandoned nuclear reactor? Gone fission"

"New guy: I really like your name Me: Thanks I got it for my birthday"

"How do you get four old ladies to yell ""FUCK?"" Get one to yell ""BINGO!"""

"God: I made something new. It's like a tornado, but smaller. Angel: What do you call it? God: A toddler."

"What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality."

"I once had a goldfish that would hump the carpet, but only for about 30 seconds."

"Me: *mouths I love you* Him: M: *blows kiss* H: M: *adjusts my pajama top* H: *empties the can & hops onto the side of the garbage truck*"

"Q: You're on top of Mount Everest. How do you get down? A: Pluck a duck."

"My neighbour is in the Guinness book of world records. He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me. A stone's throw away, in fact."

"What's the difference between a joke and 3 cocks? You can't take a joke."