101101

Joke of the Day

"[PICKLE] Our first chance to help our new ally! http://www.reddit.com/r/pickle/comments/1a2xg8/next_attack_for_our_entire_army_march_12th_at_520/"

"Why did Helen Keller try lsd? Because she was told it makes you see things!"

"[on a test drive] Me: Haha the heated seat feels like I peed my pants! Dealer: This car doesn't have heated seats. Me: Does it have napkins?"

"You had me at: I'm calling the police."

"Some joke my dad told me a long time ago What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to? Barbers."

"Whats Black and never works? Decaffeinated coffee, ya racist."

"How many sorority girls does it take to change a lightbulb? Seven. One to change it, two to take pictures, and four to make t-shirts for the event."

"Let's vote the pool water off that celebrity diving show."

"You probably solved a problem which Einstein couldn't solve because he didn't see it"

"*rolls grocery cart into open house* Ooh what a lovely lamp! *puts it in cart* An iPad! *crosses iPad off shopping list* *puts it in cart*"