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Joke of the Day

"What did a police officer write in the criminal report, when they found a homey from the bottom of a lake, wrapped in 200 kg's of metal chains? -Offender stole more than he could carry by swimming"

"[at my intervention] mom: some of us feel uncomfortable with your pinned tweet"

"How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel."

"Why the Indian programmers are good at C or Java, but not Basic? Because they're cast-sensitive!"

"When the president is lonely what does he say? I'm Obama-self."

"What sexual position makes the ugliest babies? Ask your mom"

"It's fun to smudge your lipstick and ruffle your hair before you come out of your bosses office, then give your work colleagues a wink."

"my drafts folder is a lot like all of my exes. they totally made sense in my head at the time, but now I cringe when I look at them."

"What bird is most likely to inspire a revolution? A pigeon... ""Coup, coup"""

"Q: How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb? A: It takes two. One to change the bulb and the other to kick the switch."