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Joke of the Day

"What kind of cancer always stands by the government? Pro-state cancer."

"Summer: Hair gets lighter. Skin gets darker. Water gets warmer. Drinks get colder. Music gets louder. Nights get longer. Life gets better. CAN'T WAIT!"

"Trouble brewing at Symphony Hall. It's the bottom of Beethoven's 9th, and the bassists are loaded."

"How to piss of a reddit moderator? [Removed]"

"It's white, it's ceramic, and it taps on your door. Let that sink in."

"I'm always Frank & Earnest With Women In Chicago I'm Frank in New York I'm Earnest"

"I was always really bad with numbers But I think my 34 inch dick makes up for it."

"Whats it called when batman leaves church early? Christian Bale"

"""Give it to me,"" my girlfriend yelled. ""I'm so fucking wet, give it to me now!"" She could scream all she wanted, I was keeping the umbrella"

"Q. How did the blonde die ice-fishing? A. She was run over by the zambonis machine."