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Joke of the Day
"It's white, it's ceramic, and it taps on your door. Let that sink in."
Next Joke
"Never commit a crime while working out Lest you get ill gotten gainz."
"[senses date is losing interest in me] ""my uncle was the guy who did the rap in Red Red Wine"""
"What do you tell a nazi with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told Richard Spencer twice!"
"What does a robot do after a one night stand? He nuts and bolts."
"Why is a guy in the Navy called a seaman? You are what you eat!"
"A man died today when a pile of books fell on him. He only had his shelf to blame."
"Q: How many bassoonists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Only one but they'll insist on going through about 5 bulbs before they find one that suits this particular room and situation."
"Weird is a side effect of awesome."
"[Snail Court] Snail Lawyer: Permission to approach the bench, Your Honor? Snail Judge: I'm sorry; we don't have that kind of time."