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Joke of the Day
"I'm so out of shape, I can't even run away from my insecurities."
Next Joke
"I always greet new people with 'Expelliarmus' ..... it tends to be pretty disarming"
"most offensive jokes I want to hear the most offensive jokes you have ever heard or told. Send that shit in. Because I loves me some offensive jokes."
"Progeria jokes get old real quick."
"I just took enough Vicodin to kill a medium-sized Chipmunk. RIP Roy. Roy's the hypothetical Chipmunk. I named him. Has anyone seen my legs??"
"What do you call an extremely constipated person? Whatever you like. They don't give a shit."
"I shake my head at people's stupidity so often that no one will even notice if I get Parkinson's."
"My signature move at parties is flirting with a cute guy for half an hour before realizing he's actually a bag of Cheetos"
"I like to put my passengers as ease by pointing out where all the airbags are. Ending the safety message with ""Just in case I crash again"""
"Why are hillbilly murders hard to solve Because they all share the same DNA"