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Joke of the Day
"If I was one of the seven dwarfs I'd be Nopey."
Next Joke
"If I could, I'd wear plaid every day. But I feel as though doing that would cross several lines."
"Before today, the saddest Brazilians I ever saw... ...were the waiters who got assigned to me at Fogo de Chau #estoygordo"
"I took someone else's coffee at Starbucks because I liked her name better."
"What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky."
"A squirrel needs about two pounds of acorns a week to survive. That's nuts!"
"What was Hamlet screaming when running around a circle ? 2(pi)r or not 2(pi)r....(snicker)"
"Being rich is like being pregnant Everyone is happy for you, but no one asks how many times you were screwed to get there."
"I killed 3 men yesterday... All 5 of them were black."
"So i made a joke about paper.. but it was tearable"