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Joke of the Day

"What is white, and 14 inches long. Absolutely nothing."

"I'm watching so many cute animals videos I think I'm developing aww-tism."

"We all have our weaknesses. Yours are just more obvious."

"Mum I found Dad Haven't I told you to stop making holes in the garden?"

"[Job Interview] HR : What do you consider your biggest weakness? Me : (pulls out machete) *whispers under my breath ""I can't forgive people"""

"Q: Why did the pacifist /b/tard try to calm everyone down? **A:** He did it for the *lullz*"

"Our culture is like a fungus. It's fucking disgusting but it grows on you."

"Why was the Rastafarian poor? Because he was jah bless"

"I have a friend who has a strange obsession with ceilings. I guess you could say he's a ceiling fan."

"What did Neil Armstrong do after walking on the moon before Buzz Aldrin did? *Apollo*gize."