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Joke of the Day

"The term ""Every 60 second in Africa..."" is stupid Everyone knows Africains don't get seconds. They're lucky if they get a single serving."

"Every kid dreads accidentally calling their teacher ""mom"" but from personal experience, doing it in a rap battle is worse"

"Did anyone see the lunar eclipse tonight? It was right by 'your anus'."

"If you watch the way that many motorists drive you will soon reach the conclusion that the most dangerous part of a car is the nut behind the wheel."

"A physicist sits down at a bar. What does he order? Ein stein"

"just got my deaf friend drunk and he's slurring fingers so bad right now"

"Hey girl, are you Liam Neeson's daughter? Because if so nvm"

"What does Ronald Reagan have that Jimmy Carter doesn't? A widow."

"Her: hey handsome, why don't you give me your number... Me: ...because I still need it."

"There's no better feeling than not giving a fuck."