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Joke of the Day

"There's no better feeling than not giving a fuck."

"Awesome Comeback Teacher: Where the hell is your math homework?! Me: it committed suicide, had too many problems."

"What did the dick say to the condom? Cover me, I'm going in!"

"I refuse to believe that everybody was kung fu fighting. I'm sorry, but there had to be at least a couple people sitting that one out."

"I just saw a woman fall in the street so I asked if she wanted help or sex because I don't know her or her hierarchy of needs."

"You think you're hardcore? Watch THIS! *Drinks vodka straight from the potato*"

"What's worse than a lobster on your piano? Crabs on your organ!"

"What do you call people with big ears? Nothing, they might hear you"

"Two old men are walking through a park... ""Nice out, isn't it?"" ""Yes, I think I'll get mine out too."""

"Did you hear the one about the guy with five dicks? His pants fit like a glove!!"