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Joke of the Day

"If you're pissed off about a non-white Santa Claus then I've got some very bad news for you about Jesus."

"I bet a lot of people have tried that ""See you next year!"" joke at the end of December but got proven wrong by dying in a DUI."

"If it looks like a rat and smells like a rat, odds are it's a vegan, black bean, veggie burger and my wife is cooking."

"My wife dared me to yell out ""HURRY UP HAYDEN"" at Disney World. Now we have 27 blonde boys & 8 girls following us like Children of the Corn."

"Whats the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a bottle of glue? Anyone can tune a piano, but noone can piano a tuna!"

"*waits until you fall asleep* *tests out his new retractable air horn*"

"What is the last thing a redneck says before he dies? ya'll watch this!"

"Reddit is like a box of chocolates It's the same shit over and over"

"I've Been Bitten! by A. Flea"

"What do you call one chickpeas smashing another? Hummuscide... *italics* gentleman bows"