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Joke of the Day

"What is the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds There are twenty of them"

"What was John Lennons final hit? The pavement"

"What do my wife and my math teacher have in common? They both love to create problems that I am apparently supposed to solve."

"What does Gordon program in? FLASH... AAAHHHHHHHH. Its the language of the universe..."

"I don't mind meeting her parents. It's her husband I have always been avoiding."

"What is easier to load your van with bowling balls or screaming baby's? Baby's because you can use a pitchfork"

"I told my dad about the school shooting today I don't know why he got so worked up over picture day."

"I bought a push up bra today... It didn't work, I can still only do 2..."

"How does Times Square start the new year? By having Mariah Carey drop the ball! ""The audience can sing this one."""

"I just crashed into the back of a dwarf driver.... He gets out of the car inspects the rear bumper and goes up my window. ""I'm not happy"" he said ""well which one are you then?"""