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Joke of the Day

"""evreytime god closes a door, he opens a window"" - me, tryimg to convince my clients their house isnt haunted"

"Why did the scare crow win the award? He was out standing in his field. This has Always been my favourite pun."

"A great high-intensity workout is maintaining a neutral expression when someone tells you about a cool place to hear electronic music."

"Whats The hardest thing about rollerblading Telling your Dad you're Gay"

"Sorry neighbor who's choking to death, my cat's resting his little head on my leg. This, like, never happens."

"A great excuse for being late is ""I don't know how to tell time"""

"Where in Eastern Europe does Justin Timberlake like to kayaking? Crimea River"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? It saw a cock!"

"""Mind control agents in chem trails sounds crazy? That's EXACTLY what the govt wants"" Bride: I shouldn't have let you write your own vows"

"What do you call the largest number of grizzlies you can fit in a car? The bear maximum"