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Joke of the Day

"Uh oh. My car's GPS asked me, ""Who's Siri?"""

"Why did Minotaur win an interior design award? Because his home was a maze thing."

"Where did the gay Wizard go? He disappeared with a poof."

"I swear, a pigeon at the bus stop this morning was trying to flirt with me. Anyway, totally fucked that pigeon."

"Any room can be a panic room if she tells you ""we need to talk"""

"ll be posting telepathically today.. So if you think of something funny, that was me."

"Husband: ""I have good news and bad news"" Wife: ""Tell me the bad news first."" Husband: ""The washing machine broke."" Wife: ""And the good news?"" Husband: ""The dogs are clean."""

"They should make a Conservative Insurance to counter Progressive, they'll never fix anything and tell you to let Jesus take the wheel."

"Why didn't the Asian man cry when his wife died? Because he just couldn't bereave it."

"Most Racist Joke I Have Heard (told to me by a devout Chinese Jew) whats the worst part about being a black jew? getting put in the back of the oven."