100529
Joke of the Day
"I definitely could NOT be a surgeon. blood freaks me out when I'm high"
Next Joke
"I made a really sexy gravy. It was saucy. I put a few raisins in it, but it started getting fruity."
"Mary had a little lamb. The doctor fainted."
"Q: What do you call a Blind Dinosaur? A: Do-ya-think-he-saurus."
"Old people that say tattoos are a waste of money: You have entire cabinets dedicated to plates that no one is allowed to use."
"Unless it's that scary chick from The Ring, I really don't care who is in the restroom with me."
"Why does Bill Cosby carry around a nutcracker everywhere he goes? So he can bust a nut without having to rape anybody."
"I've decided to get a couple tattoos. On my right knee I'm going to get ""Disney."" And on my left... dat-knee."
"I'm 84% less productive in a swivel chair."
"I told a newcomer in prison that the other inmates were heavily interested in astronomy. When asked what I meant, I said, ""They are particularly interested in Uranus, so you don't want to moon them."""