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Joke of the Day

"*drops off box to Salvation Army* ""Sir, why is this box marked W I F E?"" *peels out*"

"I am so lazy that when I dropped the soap in the shower, I just sat down & took a bath. That was 2 hours ago. I'm still here."

"Why is American Beer like making love in a canoe? Because it's fucking close to water. ^(Source: The Philosophy department of the University of Wallabaloo.)"

"What is a feminist's favorite math topic? Triggerednometry"

"""Let's get ready to bumble!!!"" - Bees"

"My favorite thing to say when a man offers me a drink is, ""Of course I'll have another...I AM drinking for two, after all!"""

"I don't trust Sperm Banks, so naturally I keep my semen hidden in my mattress."

"I asked my brother why he was taking a dictionary and thesaurus to his theater rehearsal. He said it was a play on words."

"Where does a psychologist keep his boat? on a Freudian Slip"

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? one's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean"