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Joke of the Day

"Two flies are sitting on a toilet. One gets pissed off."

"What do you call a comedian that can't get a girl pregnant? Carl Barron"

"[campfire] ME: They say these trees are over 200 years old. Man, if trees could talk... TREE: Please stop burning my flesh to cook hot dogs."

"I tried finding work as a Saudi executioner... ...but I couldn't get ahead."

"What do you call an octopus that fights sharks? An octobrave. I'm sorry."

"Why couldn't the little mermaid get into college? Her GPA was unda da C."

"Last-second gift idea. Bring a tag and put it on any present already under the tree. Call other person a liar. Be willing to fight him/her."

"Me: Would you consider going out with a guy a little older than yourself? Her: Well of course I would. Why, do you have a son?"

"I Can see the future, Donald Trump wins the election This post made with **Internet Explorer**"

"It's not an octopus. It's a water spider. And yes, so called ""marine biologist"", if you live in the ocean you swallow 8 of them every year."