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Joke of the Day
"Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left him."
Next Joke
"What do you call two British men, searching for a donkey? Assless chaps. Source: http://www.mrlovenstein.com/images/comics/345_daft_for_donkey.png"
"Pavlov's cats rule, Pavlov's dogs drool."
"have u ever just taken your goth girlfriend out on a date but it gets dark out and you lose her in the parking lot"
"What do you call bad filmography in another dimension? Breaking the fifth wall."
"So a blind girl was giving me a hand job last night... She said I was the biggest she's ever felt, I said ""Nah girl, you're just pulling my leg."""
"Fucked a girl with one leg once... Should've used my dick ."
"How do you make a cat bark? Soak it in lighter fluid, throw a match on it. Woof!"
"Why do squirrels swim on their backs? To keep their nuts dry."
"therapist: ""remember there are no stupid questions"" wife: ""okay"" therapist: ""keith you start"" me: ""do sharks ever need to have a bath?"""