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Joke of the Day

"I have great muscle memory I totally remember when I was in shape."

"Took my wife away for our anniversary since it wasnt enough for her just to be married to God's gift to every female organism on the planet."

"How do you make a feminist angry You don't, they come that way"

"Why doesn't anyone get laid on Thanksgiving? All the coats are on the bed!"

"The general rule is that you shouldn't ride an elevator during a fire, but I mean, talk about a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity"

"The tampon aisle is a terrible place to pick up chicks."

"What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving."

"NSFW Every time I see a picture of a girl and think ""I'd do her"" I have to remind myself... I'll never get the grade school yearbooks done like that."

"Woke up with a hangover to the sound of my neighbor cutting the grass. He can cut around me, I'm not movin'."

"What did the scientist say after discovering the medicinal content of homeopathic remedies ? 0mg !!!!"