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Joke of the Day

"I almost bought a huge library out of old computer programming books... ...but the ascii price was way too high."

Next Joke
 
"My girlfriend and I were talking about pets, she said she'd like to get a manatee. I just laughed and said, ""Two sugars, please."""
"Saw this guy having engine troubles with his smart car. So I got out my son's legos and built him a new one. I'm such a giver"
"[1st day as police officer] PARTNER: THAT CAR FLEW BY DOING 126 MPH! LET'S ROLL! ME: Um, ok, but I literally JUST got this ice cream cone."
"I just saw an Asian chick with big boobs and a booty. I took a pic so if any of you have Mythbuster's email hit me up."
"If a tree falls in the woods.... .....and no one is around to hear it. Will a hipster buy the soundtrack?"
"Do you know how to disappoint a fellow Redditor? [deleted] Why would you fall for this again?"
"why did they bury liberace face down? so his friends could stop by for a cold one..."
"Tampon is the worse thing to call a woman. A stuck up cunt"
"Poor kids at sandy hook... They wished for books but they just got magazines."