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Joke of the Day

"So there's a guy with a speech impediment.... It's funny because his life is hard, and he was relentlessly ridiculed in grade school."

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"*pulls curtain back while wife is in the shower* me: Are we - stop screaming, it's just me- are we out of Cheetos?"
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"What do you call a really cheesy thought? A quesaIDEA."
"How do you call a person that speaks only one language? An American"