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Joke of the Day

"ME: sometimes i just repeat your name instead of laughing HANNAH: that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard ME: hannahannahannahannaha"

"I accidentally swallowed a piece of string the other day. When it finally came out the back end, it was all tied up. I shit you knot"

"My ex had weekly lessons with the devil on how to become more evil I still don't know how much she charged him though."

"Whats the Diffrence Between Hitler and Usain Bolt? One can acctualy finish a race"

"People used to think George Washington was antisocial. But he just wasn't a party person."

"Can we stop calling actors ""brave""? ""I cant believe he had the courage to play dress up pretend time make believe"""

"First Kangaroo: How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros? Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory."

"""What should we name this fruit?"" ""Passion!"" ""..."" ""..."" ""Let's not let Todd name any more fruits."""

"I want to be a server at a restaurant that serves fish jelly, just so when people order it, I can say ""I don't think you're ready."""

"Have you heard about the airplane industry? Its really taking off and reaching new heights."