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Joke of the Day

"Everything I like is either: illegal, immoral, fattening, addictive, expensive, or impossible"

"How big is the US-Mexico border wall going to be? It's gonna be YUGE!!!"

"ME: I hate owls [Owl turns his head 180] OWL: What? ME: Oh I didn't see you there OWL: Are you talking behind my back? ME: I'm...I'm not sure"

"I know this guy who watches Fist of the North Star........ AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA! BUMBADUMBAAAAAAA (I'm really sorry)"

"Why do porn directors prefer real Christmas trees? Because they don't need fluffing."

"we're fucked When u thought that Donald Trump running for president was a joke then realized I don't have enough money saved up to move out of the country."

"Why is dog man's best friend? Because it's the only way to have a bitch that doesn't talk."

"I asked my wife what women really want, she said attentive lovers. Or maybe she said ""a tent of lovers."" I wasn't really listening."

"Why couldn't the hipsters save the hippies? They were too far out."

"My girlfriend just became a porn star She's gonna be pretty pissed when she finds out."