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Joke of the Day

"Telling my daughter garlic is good for you. Good immune system and keeps pests away.Ticks, mosquitos, vampires... men."

"""This is so wrong,"" I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling as I butter a donut"

"What do you call a two-headed lesbian dinosaur? Eat-a-lotta-puss"

"What's the difference between strange jizz and you? Your mother doesn't love you."

"Become a PhD After many years of studying at a university, I've finally become a PhD... or Pizza Hut Deliveryman as people call it."

"My Daughter wants a Cinderella-themed party, so I invited all her friends over and made them clean my house."

"Why do Hippies love Didgeridoo? It is as close as they can get to making love to a tree."

"I'm not a racist but. . . I fucking hate marathons."

"I know this guy who watches Fist of the North Star........ AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA! BUMBADUMBAAAAAAA (I'm really sorry)"

"Him: I love nerd girls Me: Did you know that having red beard hair happens if you only have 1 mutated MC1R gene? Him: no. not like that."