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Joke of the Day

"Therapist: Problem? Me: I always quote Eminem lyrics. T: Explain? M: I can't tell you what it really is,I can only tell u what it feels like"

"What's the difference between a group of midget engineers and a women's track team? One is a group of cunning runts..."

"Waldo books are cute until u learn he owes $100,000 in unpaid child support & is wanted for arson"

"Love means never having to say youaTMre Canadian."

"What do you call a gay Irish couple? Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick."

"How do you make a fireman cry? Kill his family."

"If you go to jail for tax evasion, you are living off taxes for not paying taxes."

"[Enter your password] Secret [Password must be 6 characters] Secrete [Password disgusting but accepted]"

"I want my children to be independent headstrong people. Just not while I'm raising them."

"Me: Sorry, my son spilled the water Waiter: No problem, I'll get you a new one Me: [grabbing his arm] Make sure this one likes sports"