99826

Joke of the Day

"I once farted in an elevator. It was wrong in so many levels."

"We now have tortilla chips shaped as functional shovels to minimize calories burned when scooping junk into our mouths. Your move, diabetes"

"Why can Severus Snape never become a gardener His lilies always die"

"A man carrying his wife. She asks him to put her down. ""All right, you're an idiot."" he replied."

"I like Tweets that are so good that when I send them to FB my old friends won't talk to me on the phone for a week."

"Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side"

"If your boss says ""Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't you supposed to be in at 8am?"" don't correct them. Its a trap. They hate being wrong."

"Why is the letter 'c' afraid of the rest of the alphabet? Because all the other letters are not c's. *** ^^*ba ^^dum ^^tss*"

"What's white and kills you if it gets in your eye? an aeroplane"

"A secretary and her boss Secretary: do you wanna go out for dinner tonight? Boss: I don't know. Check if im free while I go get some coffee."