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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Unicorn and a cop who treats black people fairly? Nothing; they both don't exist."

"If all foods were packaged like honey they'd all come in these miniature fake human containers which would be weird as hell"

"Helen Keller just found out about LSD. She thinks it'll make her see things."

"People with dreadlocks either love weed or hate showers."

"What do you call a rhetorical fish? Sharkasm."

"Well this beer isn't going to throw itself up."

"What's the difference between a woman and a laundry machine? When I dump a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around after"

"My wife wants me to be her sexual advisor She said:""if I want your fucking opinion I'll ask for it"""

"What does a cab driver have in common with a pool cue ball? The harder you hit them, the more english you get out."

"Why did the vampire take up acting? It was in his blood."