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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a woman and a laundry machine? When I dump a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around after"

"She asked me for a dollar... But I only had three quarters of it."

"A guy walks into a bar with a duck on his head... the bartender said, ""Can I help you?"" and the duck said, ""Yeah, get this guy off my ass."""

"What's the difference between a dog barking at the front door and a woman screaming at the back door? If you let the dog in, it will shut up."

"You know what really grinds my gears? Oxidation"

"A tornado is a lot like having an affair. At first there is a lot of blowing, but in the end, you just lose your house."

"What do an alcoholic and a necrophiliac have in common? They both like to pop open a nice cold one."

"What do Nazi Germany and vaginas have in common? Their tendency to subjugate poles."

"How do you know if an introvert likes you? He looks at your shoes instead of his"

"Hipsters I had the joy of meeting a couple of hipsters today, and they yelled at me for making fun of them. Apparently the politically correct term is ""conjoined twins""."