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Joke of the Day

"Political Correct'ness has gone too far! Did you hear you can't even say 'black paint' anymore??? No! You have to say: 'Please paint the wall DeMarcus' instead."

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"I got a papercut writing my suicide note. It's a start. -Steven Wright"
"What is the best thing about duct tape? It turns no no no into mm mm mmmm."
"Life is like a box of idiots."
"Beached whale Today I got in trouble at work for throwing water on a lady... I just thought that's what your suppose to do for a beached whale"
"What's a blind mans worst fear ? A prius"
"5: daddy can I tell you a secret? Me: sure thing buddy 5: *grabs my face and whispers* I just pooped and I didn't wash my hands"
"Porn addiction is a serious thing I have first hand experience."
"I told my Dad I was voting for Bernie Sanders... He responded, ""So you want to see America be destroyed?"" I said, ""No, I want to watch it Bern."""
"I'm making a Band! I started a band called 999 Megabytes...we haven't gotten a gig yet."