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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute stops screwing you when you run out of money."

"Why can't Helen Keller drive? ...Because she's dead."

"How did Rihanna know Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles."

"By the power vested in me by my credit card, I now pronounce you my new fluffy hat. You may now hug my head."

"I just saw a cop pull over a U-Haul truck. I think he is trying to bust a move."

"What do you get when you cross NWA and Young Money? Dr. Drake."

"I like my women like I like my golf scores In the 80s, with a slight handicap"

"people used to make fun of me in high school but who's making fun of me now?? that's right bud, thousands of strangers on the world wide web"

"whats the difference between a baby and a sandwich? i dont fuck my sandwich before i eat it"

"I love that we're a nation of diversity: a black president, a white vice president, and an orange speaker of the house. #SOTU"